The Rickening of Murphy's Law
by MakeGalarGreatAgain
Summary: Rick is bored, and so he opens a portal to nowhere in particular and drops Morty and himself into it. Little does he know that he's encountered a law even he himself might not be able to understand. Note 06/24/19: This will be completed! I am revising and writing new chapters now.


"I'm bored," Rick yawned as he entered the living room. Morty, in the center of the room, lifted his head toward his grandfather to raise a brow, but by the time he had begun to open his mouth, a swirling green circle of energy opened beneath him and swallowed him whole, enveloping his surprised scream. Rick, his labcoat fluttering behind him, casually meandered over to the opening in the floor, waving a hand at his granddaughter lounging about on the couch. "We'll be back later!" he called to her (he received no response).

He whooped in excitement, and then that excitement faded when he saw the world they had landed in. He didn't know this universe, not by heart, but it looked like another boring copy of theirs. A clean sidewalk lined a boring, main road and houses dotted the roadside. He saw some kids biking, all normal humans, no aliens here. He crossed his arms and huffed.

"Well, fuck this, I'd have thought it'd bring us somewhere a bit more exciting than this," Rick grumbled.

"What the hell, Rick!" Morty cried from behind him. "I-I'm in my pajamas still! What if that… that had sent us to some, fucking, crazy planet? And I'd have just been eaten. Or what if we landed on some planet without oxygen, and-!"

"Morty, shut the fuck up," Rick snapped. "Now, let's go. This world is clearly not going to give us any adventures and we got better places to be."

Rick had just been about to aim his portal gun at the ground to open another glowing, green, ethereal pool when screams behind him caught his attention. He and Morty (the latter dressed in sleepy, yellow and white striped pajamas) both looked behind them and saw a redheaded man on a half-broken bike skidding down the sidewalk. Eventually, the wobbling front tire gave way, and he was flipped forward, landing on his back with his bike kinked over him. He spluttered and groaned in pain, and Morty rushed to his aid.

"Oh my god," Morty exclaimed, "are you okay? A-are you hurt? That was a nasty fall."

"It's nothing!" the man shouted, his voice irritated and grating. "It was just Milo! Everything is Milo's fault!"

"Milo?" Morty echoed, slowly backing away from the man. He bore a neon orange jacket, like those of construction workers on Earth, and a small badge pinned to the right side of his chest spelled the name _Elliot_. "Who's Milo, and why'd he sabotage your bike?"

"Morty, if you want to be amazed by human dramatics, we can go back to our Earth and watch some - what the fuck are they called, soap operas? Yeah, soap operas." Rick crossed his arms, tapping the portal gun to his elbow in annoyance.

"Milo is just the town menace, don't you know?" Elliot snorted his contempt. "He's a walking magnet for disaster. He blames it on Murphy's Law. I don't know if it's a thing or not, but Milo is definitely a thing." He slowly pushed the bike off his abdomen and staggered back to his feet, huffing and puffing.

"Murphy's Law?" Morty blinked and looked back at Rick. "What's he talking about, Rick?"

"You've never heard of Murphy's Law, Morty? You dumbfuck, it's only a thing everyone hears about at some point in their lives. 'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong,' never heard of that, Morty?" Rick scoffed. "Either way, it's bullshit."

Elliot frowned at the both of them. "You know profanity in public, in this area, is disallowed, right?"

Morty waved his hands at Elliot in a terrified display of panic, but then Rick only laughed. "And who's gonna make me, you? Sheltering kids from profanity is stupid anyway. Half of them are saying 'suck my balls' before they're ten." Rick unfolded his arms and stashed his portal gun away, and then looked down at Morty. "So now what? You ready to return home yet?"

"No, I want to meet this Milo," Morty said, "a guy who's basically… anything can go wrong, will go wrong, that doesn't sound exciting to you?"

Rick shrugged. "It's probably just a curse. I'll cure him of it, and we'll be on our way."

"You can cure him of it?!" Elliot practically squealed, making both Rick and Morty raise their brows at him. "You really can cure him of Murphy's Law? You can make this city safe again?"

"Maybe," Rick smirked. "But not for you, dumbass. Just because I can. Don't go thanking me yet, I'm Rick, motherfucker."


End file.
